I can't sleep. It's 3:20. My alarm is set for 6:30. I could set it later; my work hours are a bit flexible. But what's the point? It's just more time to lay awake. Might as well get on with my day.

I can deal with the occasional 0 sleep night, but I've already got a splitting headache. That's the part I really don't want to deal with.

So why no sleep? Well, I did have a soccer game that ended around 10:30. My legs tend to ache for a while after exercise. It's a mild thing and probably normal and I normally don't even notice except when I'm in bed trying to sleep. But does a normal person stay up all night because of late exercise? Probably not. Plus, I have soccer every Thursday, and this doesn't happen every Thursday. Who knows why my silly body decides not to sleep?

I actually have a lot of work to do. I really wish I could just start my work day now, at 3:30 a.m. I'd be done by 9:30 and have the rest of the day free. I could work now, but I'd still have to be in the office for 6 hours later today.

What sucks about the day following a 0 sleep night is that whatever I was planning to do is shot. Now it's just a recovery day. It's a day for coming home from work and watching TV. It's just a day to get through until I can catch up on sleep. I get emotional when I haven't slept, but I'm getting good at reminding myself that it's just the lack of sleep.

I've been experimenting with drinking coffee every day to see how that actually affects my sleep. In the recent past, I was only drinking coffee once or twice a week. Everyone seemed surprised at how strongly the caffeine affected me. So now I'm trying to build up a bit of a tolerance to it. And I am sleeping worse. But I don't know if it's the caffeine or just my general lack of discipline lately. Hard to tell. Sometimes I think I should keep a sleep journal, but I'm afraid that dwelling on sleep will give me more anxiety about sleep and therefore more trouble falling asleep.

It's midnight. I can't sleep. I feel tired all the time. I had coffee this morning and felt wired and strange all day and then crashed around 3 and felt exhausted all evening. And now I can't sleep. Stupid crazy brain.

I haven't been running as much as I should because when the alarm goes off at 5 a.m., I just turn it off and sleep until 7. When I get home from work it's dark out and running will take an hour and then I'll have to shower, and who wants to do all that after getting home from work? How do people have kids on top of this normal living stuff? It took me an hour to drive home today for no good reason.

If I don't get up at 5 tomorrow, will I really run after work? John will ride his bike beside me.

John is sleeping soundly. The cat is curled up on the end of the bed with her head under her paw, all cute and asleep. I envy them! But if this is the worst I have to face in life, that's okay. It's a good excuse to drink coffee in the morning.

I need to get a bike for cross-training. All I ever do is run. I'm too lazy to come up with other things to do. I hate stretching, which is bad for a runner. I don't think I've ever had an injury in all my years of soccer, but I'll need to take better care of my muscles as I get older. Soon I'll be in my late twenties.

I've been reading A Separate Peace by John Knowles tonight. I should know better than to read a good book at night. I got too engrossed in it, read too much.

Why do I always feel I need to post on Live Journal when I can't sleep? I guess I want someone to talk to. I'm really going to try to run at 5 and be positive and confident tomorrow.

I can't sleep. I had another dream about high school. Why do I do that? Why am I so obsessed with my past? I think I'll listen to LaunchCast and do some homework. I wish John was awake. It would be less lonely. But it would be selfish to wake him. Oh, he's stirring...but...no...false alarm.

The Phoenix library has Jay Farrar and Rhett Miller's solo albums and an Old 97's concert DVD. I don't get it, but, hey - our tax dollars to good use, right? (Jay is from Son Volt and Rhett is from the Old 97's.)